A bit of a different blog today about the tone and wording that could be used by a manager within a workplace. Rosie finds these situations a little bit raw to write about, so I have written it with input from Rosie.
How a manager uses words
This has come up this week in our house as Rosie has come across it at her workplace. Now there is a big difference between a good and bad manager. A good manager will look after their staff, help them to achieve the targets and ultimately lead the team to the best ability. A bad manager will not, it is as simple as that. In this instance they used a bullying tactics with Rosie. Now under no circumstance should that be allowed. However, with current society it does unfortunately happen more and more. What we will try and do over our blogs is paint the picture, tell you the difference and more importantly how to fix and keep yourself safe.
Last week Rosie went to work as normal. She had four jobs to do that day and achieved them all. She then went to help two of her colleagues. At the end of the day she phoned the covering manager to sign off her day. The manager in question asked about her day then asked why she had taken so long on one particular job. Rosie explained it was not an easy job and she had to try several ways to get it sorted. Her manager asked if she had been skiving. Now if you knew Rosie you would know that she is a very hard worker and under no circumstance skives, she gets the job done. Rosie told this to the manager who responded with words of “I’ll just have to take your word for it then”. Rosie was shocked and the phone call ended. Now in my opinion that was a bad choice of words to come from a manager.
What happened next
Rosie came home and I immediately knew from the hello at the front door all was not well, which is a great shame as an hour before Rosie was beyond happy that she had completed all the day’s tasks. A few moments after the hello saw the tears and mini meltdown. Rosie unfortunately with her mental health condition does not have the resilience at present to deal with that sort of comment, nor does she have the quick thinking to answer it. In my opinion even someone without a mental health condition would find that comment shocking.
I took Rosie to the gym that evening, and we did tyre flips. I said to Rosie to put her feelings into that tyre and post flip throw that tyre down. Needless to say, she felt better after this outlet. Sometimes you just need exercise as an outlet to let your frustrations out. Go for a walk, go to your local gym and take a class or my personal favourite boxing. Trust me when I say it will help using exercise as a frustration buster.
A week later
Fast forward to this week. Rosie was on a job which took longer than expected and had to call the same manager to let them know. The response she had was “it’s too late in the day, do it yourself”. To me that was passing the buck and said manager didn’t want to get involved. I was always taught as a manager to look after my team and to make sure all employees had hung up their tools before I had mine.
And this is the point I want to make. A bad manager can make your job an absolute misery but there are ways to keep yourself healthy and safe. First, know the difference between a good manager and a bullying one and if in any doubt ask someone about it. Rosie and I talked about his behaviour, and I was surprised to realise that Rosie did not even recognise his behaviour as bullying.
Secondly, exercise, find an outlet. Sometimes you need to punch something like a boxing bag or a pillow. If you do not have an outlet try and find a healthy one or speak to us. We recommend washing the car, going for a walk, call a friend, clean the house or something similar. Do not bottle it up, dwell on it and let it fester. Take is from us that it will only make it worse. Use your outlet and remember you can always email 2 Spuds.
– From Helen’s point of view with input from Rosie