Today’s been quite stressful, I had a bit of a blip and I was quite surprised by it all. I’d gotten my dates mixed up, I thought I was off today but I had missed phone calls from work this morning proving otherwise.
When I spoke to my manager he was ok with it, as he knows it’s not something I have a habit of doing. However, I got really stressed and my anxiety shot through the roof. Soon enough I was pacing through the flat back and forth whilst Helen sorted my breakfast and packed lunch. In between this she had to stop me from pacing a few times (distraction is a great way) and she also gave me lots of hugs.
I love hugs, they make me feel very safe and loved, and the problem is that they often make me cry. I don’t know what it is about a hug that makes me cry. Perhaps it is the letting go for a few seconds, knowing that I can completely let my guard down and that someone else takes over.
The reaction this morning was completely unexpected and it took a while to get over it. It really helps to be busy. Today I had customers to speak to which distracted me. This helped as I pulled myself together.
I don’t particularly like feeling this way, but it is something that happens every so often. That’s what anxiety does.
Tomorrow is another day. I am already prepared with my breakfast and lunch. We will see what adventures Saturday brings.