Continue being kind to yourself!

As some of you may know, I had a breakdown a couple of years ago. This did not come about overnight and I want to look at the signs that someone is struggling mentally, and also what I am doing now to stay in a happy place.

There were a lot of reasons I ended up in a bad place, but the 2 main contributors were work and home. I was deeply unhappy at work and the job I was doing, as well as having grown so tired of living in London and needed to get out of there. What held me back were my self-limiting beliefs, being stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts and self-doubt. Instead of breaking out of this mindset I let it bring be down. My mind was stuck in thoughts that this is what I am, what I know, and what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.

The sheer nature of working as a police officer means you are subjected to stress constantly, and this went from low, in-the-background stress to being unmanageable. I felt there was so much to do with work that sucked all energy out of me so I did not have any energy or desire to do much else. Over a period of time I stopped doing all the things I had used to do, such as cycling, walking, going to the gym, taking photographs, exploring London, reading, meeting friends and going out. The good thing about having hobbies is that they make you feel good. It is simple: by doing something you like you feel better. Me gradually putting a stop to them, which I didn’t see, had a negative impact on my mental health.

This also impacted my work. I started doubting every little thing I did, constantly worrying that I was not doing the right thing at the right time in the right way. It got to a point when I could not even send emails without getting a colleague to proof them before sending them. This complete self-doubt and worrying, not being able to make any decisions, are all clear signs that someone is suffering with their mental health.

This was a gradual decline, which is probably why it went unnoticed. I always saw myself as a strong and independent person, and I had become this big blog of nothingness, not able to do anything. All I did was go to work then home again. That is no way to live.

The one thing I do now is making sure I have me-time. This is the time I take out of my day to do the things I need to do for me. This could be anything: having a bath, reading, listening to music, anything that means I get to do something for me that I need to do in order to stay happy. What that is will be different for all of us, you all know what makes you tick.

I have also started to say no to things. Gone are the days of me going along with things because I think that is something that is expected of me. If I feel I need a time out then I will have one, if you want me to do something for you and I feel the anxiousness creeping up then I will agree to do it but at a time that suits me. If that is not good enough for you then tough, you’ll have to find someone else.

So what should you do if you see someone struggling? A person who gets to this stage is a strong person, a person who takes too much on, who goes out of their way to get everything done to a high standard and on time. That is where I found myself. I wish that my manager had picked up on this at work. We have spoken about it afterwards and they admitted they had seen the signs but did not know what to do about it, or perhaps felt that it was too difficult to bring it up. But that is the role of a manager.
If you see a colleague or a friend struggling, then I urge you to bring it up with them. In my case, I would never have taken the first step, because it was too embarrassing and difficult to do that. It would have made a huge difference knowing that there was someone at work who had my corner.

Today’s advice is two-fold:
1 If you are the person struggling then please ask for help. Don’t let it get to the point of a breakdown, please speak up!
2 If you see a person struggling then please offer your help. It often is as simple as telling them you are there if they need to talk, or to give them a hug and listen to what is going on.

-Rosie

Mental Health Awareness Week

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. The WHOLE week! One week in the year where mental health comes in to focus. For me though, my mental health is my focus the other 51 weeks too, both the good and the bad. I live with it every day of the year.

The theme for the Mental Health Awareness week this year is kindness. We need to be kind to our partners, our families, our neighbours, the checkout staff, the bin men, the bus drivers and so on. However, the most important person to be kind to is… yes, it is ourselves. One way to do this is to stop putting yourselves down by all these negative thoughts: “I am not good enough”, “I am stupid”, “People think I am an idiot”, “I am good for nothing, I’ll never fulfil my dreams”. The list goes on. By letting ourselves think these thoughts, which are constantly repeated, they become the focus and ultimately our beliefs. If you believe you are all these things, you will not accomplish anything, and your mental health will suffer. A lot.

This week I will share some of my experiences, highlighting the fact that it is ok not to be ok, and what I do to keep my downs as controlled as I can. Because it really is ok not to be ok. Our mental health matters. We need to talk about it, to everyone, regardless if they are listening or not. I simply mean that we need to break the stigma surrounding mental health. Why should we feel bad talking about it? It only makes matters worse.

I am currently working on being kinder to myself by recognising the negative thoughts I have and not letting them get to me. Now it is your turn, think kind thoughts (unless you really have been an idiot and if so you need to own it and get on with it).

Please check back over the course of the week as there will be a lot of stories, ideas, and ways to help ourselves to feel better. Stay safe out there!

-Rosie

 

2 Spud update

I thought I would give you an update with what has been happening with 2 Spuds over the last few days. We have been busy working on several things to keep you up-to-date and most importantly keeping you physically and mentally well.

Blogs

We haven’t forgotten about the blogs. We have been concentrating our efforts on getting the video side of things up and running. The blogs will continue in the next week or two and will now be mixed in with the videos.

Videos

2 Spuds now has videos. We have made friends with our camera and have taken a step into the world of vlogging. I can’t tell you how nerve wracking it was to suddenly be standing in front of a video camera and having to talk to it. The end result has been pretty good and the more we do the more we are enjoying it.

Fitness videos

We have fitness videos on our new Youtube channel, and you can link through from the 2 Spuds in a Pod website. This gives you the opportunity to come and go as you please. If you are awake at 3 o’clock in the morning and think I will try something it is ready and waiting for you. Rosie is looking into the Yoga side of things as well. We hope we can bring these to you shortly.

Lifestyle videos

We also have some lifestyle videos. What I mean by that is it is Rosie and I finally introducing ourselves and our back stories. For those new people who have been joining us over the last few weeks this is a good way to get to know us. There are also videos on the importance of routines, importance of using your outlets and finally a video on the benefits of exercise. There will be another film shortly on nutrition.

Live Facebook

I have been getting to know the live function of Facebook as well. I find it a great way to do a live class. Classes will be on at 1000 from Tuesdays to Saturdays (if we have a internet/technological blip I will record these for Youtube). There will be a variety of circuit-based exercises along with some stretch and mobility. I will keep doing this as long as I am fit and healthy.

Your physical and mental wellbeing

It is extremely important during these few weeks (months) we keep ourselves physically and mentally well. This will help our bodies go through this time in the best shape possible.

Contact us

Any queries/questions/thinkings or anything else then 2 Spuds is here for you. Reach out. If you need to chat to someone then the 2 Spud (online) door is open for you.

Take care

Take care of yourself. Keep washing those hands for 20 seconds. Listen to the governmental recommendations. Most importantly stay safe and well.

– Helen

A sedentary lifestyle

Sitting

We all do it. I mean I am doing it right now as I write this into the blog portal. We sit down. I saw a programme recently with some alarming statistics about sedentary behaviours and sitting down so thought I had better write about it.

Our sitting down journey

  • We spend 8 hours asleep in bed
  • Our morning routine which involves eating breakfast sitting at a table or on the couch
  • Travelling to work we sit in the car, on the bus or on the train
  • We arrive at our desks and you guessed it, we sit down
  • At lunch we walk to the cafeteria, corner shop or supermarket to get lunch and arrive back at work to sit down
  • In the afternoon we continue to sit at our desks
  • Again we sit down to travel home
  • We make dinner standing but eat it sitting down
  • In the evening we watch television, check our emails on our phones or play games on the computer, all sitting down
  • Then it is bedtime again

There you go, our sitting down journey for the day. We spend a fair proportion of our day sat down.

It may not apply to everyone

Now I admit that this does not apply to everyone. My job is very much standing based and Rosie’s job is also very active. Yes Rosie travels a fair bit for work but all in all it is active. Saying that in the morning or the evening we may also go to the gym or take in a gym class therefore we stop sitting down (for a bit).

The bad news

There is some bad news about sitting down. Firstly it does us no good sitting down for long periods of time. There are several other reasons why it is bad too.

  • It can increase our risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, dementia, some cancers, DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and varicose veins
  • Your glutes (big muscles in your bum) are not firing sitting down and your lower back is at risk of damage (be it muscle, ligament or discs)
  • Your posture could change into a bad position (usually with your shoulders rounded and the nice curve in your back coming out of alignment)
  • Weight gain and anxiety could creep up as well

Slipped disc

Having had a slipped disc two years ago I can safely say that this is something you do not want. I was in agony for weeks and it took months of rehab to get better from it. Now my slipped disc wasn’t caused by sitting down I am just demonstrating the potential damage it can do.

The good news

Now for the good news, you can fix it. You! By taking little steps to counteract sitting you could reverse some of the bad points listed above. Below are a few things you can change:

  • Stand on the bus or train (hold on)
  • Take stairs or walk escalators
  • Move around every 30 minutes (if you manager has an issue with this then please direct them to 2 Spuds who will be happy to point out why you are moving around)
  • Stand whilst on the phone and walk around to your colleagues desk rather than phone/email them
  • Set a pedometer to get your steps target everyday
  • Try doing some different activities rather than sitting and watching television/playing on the computer
  • Go to the gym for a postural analysis and back strengthening exercises
  • As the summer months rolls in you can start going for walks in the evening

Get active

I say get active. Start small and aim big. Start by walking up 2 flights of stairs and then progress to 10. When going to the supermarket park your car at the other end of the car park and walk to the store. Try getting up in advert breaks on the television and move around.

In short

Get active! Move around more! Stop sitting down! Look after your body!

-Helen

Ps. The programme I was watching is called “Easy Ways to Live Well” and you can find it on BBC iPlayer.

Stuck again

I am back to feeling very much stuck again, and not knowing how to move forward. Well I do know a lot of things that can / need / should be done, but it is just not happening. I do not have it in me at the moment to do all that needs to be done. Not even the little steps. No umph.

Frustration and procrastination

I am again stuck in a downward spiral of worrying about the future and how to get to where we need to be. To where I want to be. Although at the moment I do not know where that is. So I am currently spending my time being frustrated and procrastinating thus not getting very far with anything.

Any suggestions?

What do you guys to when you feel this way? Do you feel this way? Is it only me? I would give anything to go back to my life before depression and anxiety became part of it.
We can’t all feel on top all the time. Feeling like this is part of this $%$$^&%(*^$&%$$£$”!£ illness. Today I am struggling to be the positive, supportive one. There, I said it. Do I feel better for it? Hrm.

Quality time with the other half

On a happier note, I had a great day yesterday. I met Helen at The Allergy and Free from Show in Glasgow, happing attended a blogger meeting beforehand. What made me happy was spending a day together with Helen, doing things that matter to us both. It also inlcuded a trip to a Swedish flatpack store which is always a win/win situation.

Today is a new day, with good things to come. I know I will get out of this dark place. Again.

Have a fantastic week you all!

-Rosita

One every year (at least)

Birthdays

They come around once every year (or once every 4 years if you are born in a leap year). They can make us celebrate or they can make us feel anxious.

30 years old

I remember I said to my Mum before my 30th birthday would she mind if I delayed my life mile stones. I wasn’t ready yet and they hadn’t been achieved. My 30th life goals were to be in a successful job and married with kids. Now at that particular moment in time I had just been made redundant from a job, had no partner (and no prospects of one) and no kids. So all in all not a good combination and nowhere near my “life milestones”.

Society or myself?

So the question is: who is putting the pressure on us to be “perfect” by a certain age?!
It is a fantastic question to ask. Personally I think society has a lot to answer for then it is us who puts the pressure on our own shoulders.

Society

We see the “perfect” family, “perfect” lifestyle, “perfect” body and many more “perfects” everyday. Via television, social media, our friends and family, big advertising bill boards and on the back of a box of food. We think: Wow!, I want that!, How do I get that? It looks idyllic, beautiful, everything I ever wanted and as I have said before “perfect”!!! But, at the end of the day, “what is perfect?!”

Ourselves

The pressure we put on ourselves can be immense. We spend money, we to go extremes, we research and do anything we can in our search for “perfectness”. But again, “what is perfect?!” Also, what is perfect to you is different to me and again different to Rosie.

But…!!!

Stop!!!
Stop looking for perfect. As my Dad says “what is meant for you will not pass you by!” In short, if having the “perfect” family, “perfect” lifestyle or “perfect” body, you will get there. If it isn’t then stop beating yourself up about it. These things take time. Also (and most importantly), your life could be “perfect” right now. In this very moment you could have what you are looking for. Take a look around. What do you have?

Me

I have a loving partner, a (rented) roof over my head, a job, the ability to have Sundays off and lots more. I know I don’t have the kids part of it yet and I know I have auto-immune conditions which puts my health in the less favourable category. But I also know I can work everyday to try and sort it out. One day if it is meant to be with kids it will work itself out.

Peter Pan

I said to Rosie recently that although I am now past 35 and on the way to 40 I don’t think I will ever grow up. I mean technically at 40 am I not meant to have my life together?! Or is that society speaking again?! I figured I would take a page out of Peter Pan’s book and in short, I will never grow up and be “perfect”.

Up to you

So, it is up to you now. Is your life “perfect”?! Or is society telling you not?! As I say, stop and have a look around at your life. Can changes be made to make it better or is it just right the way it is?! Is a new job, gym membership, new car, some all important “me time” or a better diet needed. Are you willing to get out of your current rut and make a change to be better and may be even “perfect”?

-Helen

How to deal with toxic managers

The vote

The vote this week was how to deal with toxic managers or how to deal with toxic friends. With 71% of the vote this week’s blog is on:
How to deal with toxic managers.
I’ll say now that I have a lot to say on this subject so the blog is a long one. I would advise grabbing a cup of tea, a biscuit (or fruit) and then settle down to read.

Experience

We have all had those managers whose works ambition is to make our lives a living hell. They can make us dread going into work, shout at us for being 5 minutes late (even if it was the trains fault), send our reports back covered in red pen as that is not the way they wanted it and are generally just a pain in the butt! I have had several of these managers during my work career to date and I am pretty sure that I will have some more to come.

Quick side note

I will point out at this point that I am now technically my own boss again. In December I went back to being self-employed/freelance after I was made redundant. I tend to be very nice to myself, but this isn’t my point. I have a wealth of knowledge and experience of the toxic kind as well unfortunately.

Back then

Back when I was dealing with these types of managers, I was a very different person to who I am today. The old me was quiet, didn’t speak up for herself, bottled situations up to boiling point and generally didn’t know how to deal with a toxic situation. Today I pick my battles wisely and have been known to stand up for the wrongs and say to people “no”.

Good managers vs bad managers

A very good manager I had once upon a time told me this.  Watch people in power. Watch how they interact with other members of staff, watch how they interact with suppliers, watch how they interact with clients and so on.  I asked why. They told me you can learn a lot from a manager or a person in power. You can learn how to do things and most importantly how not to do them. This particular manager has it spot on. Every person who I have worked with I have watched. Some techniques I will use but a lot of techniques I probably won’t. Now call me old fashioned but I am all about the people at the end of the day and that little word Respect!

Respect

A tiny 7 letter word but the power behind it can be immense. However, some managers in power tend to forget about it. My theory is simple. You respect me as an employee and I will respect you as a manager. Now if you start shouting at me, throwing reports on my desk and belittling me in front of my colleagues then that respect is lost. With respect you can build a team, a successful international company and have gold in the bank.

The boxing ring

As much as I would love to get a toxic manager into a boxing ring for a “chat” it obviously is not the correct way forward. It may also lead to me to having a chat with the “Police” and that is something I really don’t want to do. However, there are ways to look after yourself without the need of a boxing ring. The three most important ones being, talk to someone about it, have a stress outlet (gym, walk) and as 2 Spuds keeps saying have some “me time” away from the badness.

My experience

I have been in a few work situations where I have been turfed out for one reason or another. Let me be very clear here that this is all about bullying and me being on the receiving end of it. It is not to do with me being fired. The manager in question didn’t like that I stood up for being shouted at in the middle of the office.  Plain and simple.

Manager 1

Now this was after months of them shouting at me, them throwing paperwork down on my desk, them making me stay for hours at the end of the work day while they wined and dined clients in the pub across the road and so on. It was easier for them to let the “trouble maker” go rather than face up to the truth. I was called into the office one morning and was given a mutual resignation and that was that. End of employment. Now since this incident several people have said I could have taken them to tribunal. It was handled horrifically and caused me endless problems with gaining different employment. It is also about 10 years ago now and I have grown up from it.

If I met said manager today

I am sure it would make an interesting afternoon and I would love to know why they bullied me and what terror they are causing today. However, I am also a lot stronger. Both mentally and physically than I was so they do not scare me anymore. I have moved on from it so unless they are offering to apologise some ten years later then I am not interested.

My other managers

As I say I have had many managers being bad. I’ve had to liaise with a lawyer with regards to a bad manager. I have been paid to leave a company due to another bad manager too. Also, I once worked at a company where one of the manager told me that if I didn’t like the way they managed then I knew where the door was. Wow! This is what they thought management was. Let’s just say I sourced a new job and moved on rather quickly after that. 

It still happens today

The above still happens today and unfortunately seems to be happening more and more often. I think managers and people in power sometimes forget that we as employees are human beings and we have feelings, lives, rent to pay and so on. We are more often than not these days treated as a number and have the threat hanging over our head of you can be replaced within seconds.

Managers out of their depths

I have to admit I think a lot of people these days end up in management positions where they are out of their depth. They have no clue on how to manage a group of people while hitting company targets and objectives. That is my personal opinion.

The dinner table high fives!

I mean do these (bad) managers at the end of the day sit around the dinner table with their family and go “woohoo I had a great day today. I made Diane cry, I sacked Tony after 10 years of service and I am a brilliant person”. High five! Hm! May be not. Now I understand sometimes you have to be mean and harsh to get to the top of somewhere but are we not taking it a bit far these days?! The other thing to point out is it is not too late to change from a bad manager to a good one. It will take time and hard work but if you want it then you can do it.

Imagine people like children

This has taken me years to perfect but it works like a charm now. If there is one thing that you take from this blog it’s this:
Imagine people (managers) like children!
That sentence sounds a bit weird doesn’t it? Stay with me though as I try to explain. This all started about halfway through my counselling when I started to see the difference between people. The difference between people who were my friends and who were there to help me be a better person and those people who didn’t.  

Functional Movement Disorder

I have two options with my functional movement disorder. One is to let people get to me, stress me out, give me lip or argue with me. Now if people do that I tend to start trembling then shaking and depending on the severity of the situation I can start shaking from head to toe. I am aware that it could happen anywhere and at any point during a stressful situation. Therefore, I tend to go with option 2 now. That option allows me to be in more control of a situation, so I do not start shaking. This option is what I use today. I take a different road and try to not let people get to me. Now sometimes this is easier said than done but that is life.  

Control

Imagine selfish people like children who have trouble sharing toys. Let me try and make this clearer. Take a manager who has summoned you to their office to have a “chat”. You go in and take a seat while they sit behind a big desk. They may ask how you are today (often not) then the flood gates open. They are shouting at you, using bad language, gesturing, insulting you or getting up to stand beside you so they can make sure you definitely hear their point. Now if this is to happen, they have lost two fundamental points. Control and respect! (as a side note, you deserve both of them in control and respect).  

Let me break it down

Now as soon as they have raised their voice, they have lost control of the situation. If they use bad language, they have lost even more control. And finally (and this is the big one) if they come around to your side of the desk, they have lost control completely and are invading your personal space. It isn’t nice to be insulted by another person but in today’s society, it happens and unfortunately it happens more often than not. If this is to happen in a situation then that reflects more on them as a person than you. Remember that!

Imagine people like children explained

Now that I have painted the picture lets look at this a different way. As I have said it is the way I look at people in these situations today. Imagine them as a child who has just had their favourite toy taken from them for whatever reason it may be. What does the child do? They may start crying, they may tug at the toy to claim it back, they may start shouting, they may start stamping their feet and flailing their arms, it could end in an almighty tantrum. Now what has the child achieved at the tantrum stage? Their toy? Usually not. Now imagine a manager doing that. The shouting, the bad language, the gesturing, the insulting and the moving around the desk is a tantrum. It’s nothing more.  A tantrum! Plain and simply, they are having a tantrum!

Laugh it off!

I have had to deal with situations like this on more than one occasion. I laugh it off now. As soon as you start doing the above to me, I feel you have lost control. I will either tell you to calm down and talk to me like an adult or I will quietly walk away. I fight the fights which I know I have something to say in and for those fights where I don’t, I walk away. 

Walking away from a fight

Walking a way from a fight may be the right or the wrong thing to do, only you can decide that as a person. This also goes for walking away from a bad job to a better one. I go with the principle that if I feel passionate enough to do something, I will think about it for a few days then act on that. If I am not going to gain anything from the fight and you have shown me, your true colours then I will walk away. Why waste my valuable time and resources being sucked up in a situation where I can see the person has no idea on what they are doing. I like to live by the motto that they will get their comeuppance someday. I may not be around to see it, but it helps make me feel better. 

Around in circles

If you are going around and around with a fight and neither of you can see the end, then you can do a few things. One is to seek help either with someone in human resources or a well-chosen friend (someone mutual to both sides). The other is to walk away completely, re-group and then come back again and see if there can be some resolution. We unfortunately live these days where we have the “it wasn’t my fault”, “why do I have to do it”, “blame someone else” and so on culture.

That rare gem

I’m not saying that every manager is bad, occasionally there is that rare gem. That gem who gives you the time of day, the respect that you deserve and service with a smile. It is unfortunately a bit of a rarity these days, but it does exist. If you come across it hold on to it with all the power you have, these are the good guys. 

Talk to someone

I urge anyone who has read this and is now thinking, ” that is me” to talk to someone. Talk to a colleague, friend or family member. Also, check your employee handbook as there should be rules in there about bullying. There may even be a secure/private phone number to talk to someone who can advise you. I would also try your human resources department. At the end of the day they are there to help you. 2 Spuds is also around to talk about it too.

Outlets

It is important to stay safe in these circumstances. Talking to someone is key but so is eating well, exercising to let the bad stresses out, sleeping well so you are prepared for the next round of bother and so on. Look after yourself. If you need to have a day off to re-group then do it. When all this was happening to me I was stressed, worried, anxious and didn’t have the proper outlets to help me. Once the resources were in place I got on a lot better. I also over the couple of years I worked with the counsellor learnt to stand up for myself. This is hard to do but is a valuable resource once you have learnt it. In the meantime try and use deep breathing and the count to 10 approach if you need it. 2 Spuds is more than happy to chat to you one-to-one about how to stand up for yourself.

Take care

I know going through toxic managers is tough and can make your life a misery. Try and take on board some of things I have said above. Most importantly look after yourself and take care.

-Helen

Ps. 2 Spuds is having some “me time” down in Southern Scotland this weekend so there will be no blog. Back to normal next Wednesday though.

Stress levels on the increase

As much as I don’t like to say it, my stress levels are on the increase. There are a lot of reasons for this, much of the every day stuff that we all have. Meal planning, food shopping, house cleaning, exercising and so on. Working long days means that there is little time left in the evening to do all the musts and shoulds. I am also finding that I am way more tired in the evenings now which doesn’t leave me with a lot of time to get all the stuff done.

Warning signs

My attention span is shorter and I am finding it more difficult to focus and concentrate on things. I am beginning to feel a little lost. There are so many things I / Helen / we want to do, but so little time. I come home from work in the evening, often having worked late, then it is time for dinner, shower and sleep. Wake up the next day and repeat. This is not sustainable, with very little quality time spent together. We are also in a month where we do not have any days off together, which never helps.

Goals

We have several short and long term goals which we are working towards, a few of them very important. We are making changes in our lives in order to achieve this. Amongst other things, this brings uncertainty, as we are on a journey but currently unsure how to get to the destination. On the other hand, it is also very exciting.

Work

Another stress is work. I find that I have been here before. A change is needed before it gets too bad. I will never allow myself to get into the situation where I was before, as this was not a good place to be. The need to do something else is quite overwhelming, but I am struggling to do something productive about it. I procrasternate, look at what needs doing, make plans but then nothing much happens. Like Helen likes to say, I am great at coming up with good ideas but the following through of them leaves a lot to be desired.

I feel I am making little changes, which is a great place to start. However it feels that things aren’t happening fast enough. But Rome was not built in a day.
For the next week my focus will be on being grateful for everything I have, stop thinking and start doing, and use the word “want” instead of “must” and “should”. This will ease the pressure too.

-Rosita

Just keep walking, just keep walking!

Simple really!

And it really is. 2 Spuds goes on about walking a lot. We talk about it in many blogs as it is as great stress reliever. Walking however, has many other benefits as well. These include:

  • Lose weight
  • Healthy heart and lungs
  • Good muscle workout for the legs (granted after a good few miles it may take a while before your legs talk to you again but this isn’t my point!)
  • Increased energy
  • Low impact

So you see there are benefits to taking a walk.

Why am I going on about it?

Well, picture the scene! In January of this year Rosie and I decided to get the year off to a good start by going for a walk. We had picked to go from Milngavie (pronounced Mul-guy) to Carbeth and return. We got about halfway through and Rosie mentions she has a challenge for us. Now here I am thinking that it will be a week in the Maldives, a deck chair by the pool, a book and a glass of sparkling water. Now that would be a challenge for me to say the least. Me and sitting still have still not ended up in the same sentence. My remark was met with a no!

The conversation

Rosie – “You know people walk the West Highland Way?”
Helen – “Of course, I think it takes between 7 to 10 days depending on your mileage per day”.
Rosie – “You know some people can do it in 4!”
Helen – “Uh-huh!”
Rosie – “I think we should walk the West Highland Way in 4 days, it will be a challenge both physically and mentally but we can do it”.
Helen – “Uh-huh! You say 4 days? As in 1, 2, 3, 4! 4 days? FOUR DAYS!”
Rosie – “Yes!”
Helen – “Forget it, no, nope, never going to happen, I refuse!”
Rosie – “It’ll be fun!”
Helen – You will need to check the dictionary for this “fun” definition! (pause) Can I complain everytime my feet or legs hurt or we are going up the biiiiiiig vertical hills?”
Rosie – “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you!”
Helen – “Ok, I’ll do it.”

Challenge accepted

And there you go. We, in May of this year, are now walking 96 miles over 4 days! That’s roughly a marathon a day! Gulp!

The details

For those of you who may not be familiar with the West Highland Way it is a stretch from Milngavie (just outside Glasgow) to Fort William (further up North in Scotland). It takes in some spectacular scenery, countryside, lochs and steep mountains.

The miles

We have estimated that we will be breaking the route down as follows:
Milngavie to Rowardennan – 26 miles (accommodation in Rowardennan)
Rowardennan to Tyndrum – 26 miles (accommodation in Tyndrum)
Tyndrum to Kingshouse – 19 miles (accommodation in Glencoe as it was all booked up (the season hasn’t even started yet!))
Kingshouse to Fort William – 25 miles (accommodation in Fort William)
We have also decided to get our bags transferred from accommodation to accommodation so we will only be walking with day packs. This saves us carrying a lot of extra weight and also I am not a massive camping fan so no need to carry a tent. I want a bed and a shower at the end of the day. Obviously we will take the train back to Glasgow and are in the process of sweet talking a parental to come and pick us up.

The Kiltwalk

I then decided that I wanted to do the Kiltwalk towards the end of April. It is a 23 mile Glasgow Green to Balloch day walk for charity. Clearly I had had one too many sugary drinks that day and was full of energy when putting that idea together. I also told a friend of mine about it and suddenly I have a walking buddy for the day as well. Between us we will be taking care of the mental and physical side of things. My chosen charity is Marie Curie and hers will be Glasgow Mental Health Association.

Interesting

It’s great to be able to have a walking buddy on the day and even now it is spurring me on to train. I mean I know I have to train to be able to do both the Kiltwalk and West Highland Way but I am a perfectionist. I don’t want to let anyone down so I will go the extra mile (sorry bad pun!) to make sure I am not lazing around in the back. To have to be accountable to someone on both walks is doing wonders to get me ready for it.

The training

I had already started walking back in December as a way to rehab me back to health post surgery but now it has taken on a different spin. I need to increase my miles per week to be able to do this. The rule of thumb is that by the end of the week the miles will add up to the total on the day. Let me explain. Last week I walked the following:
Friday – 4.6 miles
Saturday – 9.1 miles (thankfully before the storm set in)
Sunday – 13.1 miles (courtesy of a treadmill and a Zumba class as the storm was well and truly in Scotland)
The total – 26.8 miles
So this is the Kiltwalk well and truly covered as it is 23 miles however, that is only day 1 of the West Highland Way.

My plan

Other than to walk as much as possible I am just making sure I am looking after any niggles. I have already bought myself another acupuncture pillow which helps loads after a long walk day. I started by doing Tuesday and Friday with short walks then a long one on the Sunday. But now I am walking shorter ones most days and aiming for longer ones on Friday and Saturday and then a massive one on the Sunday. I am trying to have at least one day off too. With a lot in the diary it is tricky at times to keep the days the same but I will get there.

Isolation

The downside with these walks at present it Rosie’s work schedule. Most of the days I am off to train she is at work. A lot of my walking training has been on my own which I am not thrilled about but I can’t dwell on that too much. I pick places which interest me or I have never been to before so it keeps the mind busy. So far I have been to Queen Elizabeth Forest Park (near Aberfoyle), Chatelherault Country Park (near Hamilton), Strathclyde Park (near Motherwell), Kelpies and Falkirk Wheel, Auchinstarry Canal Path and the Roman Fort and Callendar Park (in Falkirk). I am aiming for more Queen Elizabeth Forest Park, Chatelherault Country Park as well as Loch Lomond and the Trossachs National Park, New Lanark, Linlithgow and anywhere else that takes my fancy. In a few weeks time I am also going down to do some of the Northumberland Coastal Path too. Of course the treadmill and Zumba classes are in there too as you never know about the Scottish weather.

There you have it

So there you have it. The next few months will see me walking, walking and then walking some more (luckily I have a good pair of boots!). I am hoping for some more weight loss as at present it has stalled which it making me very frustrated. But here is the thing. Walking is a stress reliever. So what better way can I let off some pent up frustrations than by walking.

-Helen

Frustration

It has been one of those weeks where a lot has been less than smooth. I feel stronger in myself so that I try not to let it get to me, but at the same time it does play on my mind. A lot.

Being shouted at

I had one of them days at work, which ended up in me being late for one of my jobs. This meant I was met by a very irate and upset customer (perfectly understandable given the circumstances) but ultimately not my fault. I listened, apologised on behalf of the company then got on with it. By the end of it they had calmed down and were really appreciative of the great job I had done.
This is a difficult position to be in and something I struggle with. At what point do you draw the line when you are being shouted at? I possibly let it go that little too far for two reasons: I find it hard to put my foot down and say stop. This ties in with an ongoing counselling topic of not being able to stand up for myself out of fear of upsetting the other person, or bringing on something worse.

The other reason is because I am used to it from the work I used to do. I have been in a lot of positions others would find intimidating a lot sooner than I do. But that comment in itself “I am used to it” does not make it right. At the same time I have such a strong sense of duty towards my job that I can’t possibly upset anyone by saying no or turning around and walking out. That is why this is an ongoing counselling session topic!

Doing a good days work is not enough

Having had a rubbish day, the day after went really well. I got a lot of work done and I managed to sell a product too. This is part of what I have to do every day and a bit of struggle as I am not a sales person and not what I signed up to do. I am working on changing this view as I know it is something I need to do. Stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary to grow and progress, so I am working on this every day.

In the standard set by management what I had done that day is what was expected of me. Then being told when informing them I was done for the day that it still was not good enough, well that is really frustrated. I felt really good in myself, I know I met the targets but still not enough. Again, I do not feel I can speak up about it so I just agree.

Weight loss

How difficult can it be?! We are both frustrated and angry, and had a heated discussion the other night about it. That in itself shows how stressful this is, as we very rarely argue. Everything we do in the week, and a lot of the conversations we have is about food. It has taken over and it is extra, unnecessary stress.
The outcome though is that we are going to see a nutritionist next week for advice. I feel as if nothing is working, so it is now over to the professionals to help us moving forward. It has to be sustainable with the amount of exercise and activities we do on a daily basis. I do feel as if I know nothing about food at present. Having this appointment means we can now relax a little.

What frustrates you? How do you deal with it? I mainly let it play on my mind until it goes away. Possibly not the greatest way to deal with it, I know. I also find having a rant about it with anyone who is willing to listen helps me a lot. Bottling it up is not a great way to deal with it. So let it out! Get rid of the frustration in a way that works for you, be it a walk or punching the boxing bag in the gym.

-Rosita