2 Spuds in a Pod

Looking after your mental and physical wellbeing.

Category: Anxiety

Speak up when it is not right

I started the CBT sessions a few weeks ago now however, it hasn’t quite happened the way it should have. The therapist cancelled the second appointment with very little notice then disappeared off the radar for days. This meant my anxiety went up because that is what it does. It may sound like nothing but it is a big thing to me. Not knowing what is going to happen and when means my brain goes into overdrive with questions and I struggle to get it to stop.

Putting a stop to it

Although my anxiety increased over this, which is quite ironic as the main aim of the CBT is to get help to reduce it, I did not feel that I could do anything about the situation. I would have just waited for her to get in contact with a new appointment and that would have been it. Having Helen in my life means I have someone always fighting my corner, so she stepped in as she thought it was very poorly handled by the therapist, and wanted to send her a well worded email. My initial thought was that of course we can’t do that, we can’t rock the boat, who am I to question what is happening. As you can see speaking up for myself is something I struggle with.

The email

Helen typed a well worded email, polite and to the point, which was sent to the therapist and the clinic. As a result of this, I now have a new therapist who I actually prefer. The clinic handled this very well too and were appreciative of my (Helen’s) feedback.
As an added bonus, I will also get a voucher for a very nice food store as a compensation for how this was handled.

The point

Sometimes we need to step outside our comfort zone, as uncomfortable as it may be. In this case, by telling someone that their actions were actually not acceptable, meant that I’m now in a much better place. Although it made me anxious at the time, I’m really glad now that I did just that.

And if I can do it, so can you. Don’t spend life being told what to do. If it doesn’t sit right with you, then you must say so.

-Rosita

NLP

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is something that 2 Spuds did over the weekend with Bodycore Training. We were aware we were doing the course on Saturday but what we were unaware of was how much it can help someone, how much it can benefit us and how deep it actually goes.

Tissues

The course instructor opened the course with, “the tissues are on the table, water on the side and hugs are also available”. We suddenly thought what had we let ourselves in for. Over the next 8 hours we were about to find out the full ins and outs of NLP. We are still finding out today what it is about and I am sure we still have a lot to learn going forwards too.

What is it?

A very good question I would say. According to our notes and that multi-coloured search engine NLP stands for neuro which has to do with neurology, linguistic refers to language and programming is to do with neural language functions. It is about changes in perception and developing positive choices in a given situation. NLP can be used for personal development as well as phobias and anxiety.

What did we learn?

We learnt a lot. We learnt that our brain has a MAP and no I don’t mean Google. I mean it has a record of our past, our feelings, our thoughts, our learnings and so on. We get this information from our parents, teachers, television, social media and much, much more. NLP takes us from our comfort zone to our uncomfortable zone then flourishes. My favourite metaphor from the course is: there are 10,000 films playing in our brains at any one time but consciously we are only aware and concentrating on 1. Just the 1 from 10,000 films. We have 1! Wow! Now that is a bit mind-boggling at the best of times. Around 95% of us is working on a subconscious level or in other words, auto-pilot. Again, wow!

Life style questions

There are series of life style questions which you answer to determine what area of NLP will be good for you to experience. We were then introduced to the NLP technologies. These are the “trances” for want of a better word. Someone will speak to my subconscious and my conscious beings to determine where I need help and what behaviours need changing to help me too.

The trance

Now this was interesting. We were put into a trance like state and then asked questions. It is very weird when you are moving part of the body, the brain is controlling it but you cannot figure out when you open your eyes how it did that. If that makes any sense whatsoever! That is the kind of weird that it is. Helen didn’t go too deep on the first try but has over the last day or so been saying that one of her bad memories has a block on it. The memory is hazy. It is something that she will continue to work on. Rosie is also feeling calmer over a bad memory and now has a more positive frame of mind.

We tidied the house

We are not sure if this has anything to do with NLP but on Sunday we did all of those jobs which have been on our “to do” list since May. The garden has been put away for the winter, we tidied the shed, we took the stuff we had been saving for a rainy day to the tip. At some point we had lunch before we tackled the kitchen. The cupboards were emptied, checked what we actually wanted to keep, what we hadn’t used since we had moved in, cleaned from top to toe and all sugary snacks given to the neighbours kid. By the end of Sunday we had 10 bags to go to charity.

2 Spuds and NLP

2 Spuds is currently practising a lot of the NLP techniques so we can be ready for a launch next year. Due to the nature of NLP, how deep into your past it can go and the fact it needs to be handled with the utmost care and respect it will take some time for us to get this ready. We will of course keep you updated on this site.

-Helen

Anxiety go away!

I really wish someone could come up with a quick fix for when my anxiety starts to rear its ugly head. It is so tiring and I spend so much time and energy on something that is out of my control.

Little things

This week the anxiety has been brought on by work. I have had so much work to do, and I do what I do best: just keep my head down, don’t ask for help, trying to get everything done to a to a very high standard, I don’t take lunch and then crash in the evening. I had a chat with one of my managers who told me to stop stressing about things, to not sit at home in the evening getting anxious and worried about the work the next day. As long as it is done to a good standard then that is all that matters. This sounds great but it is easier said than done.

A box for everything

I like things done a certain way. I function best when I know exactly when and how I need to get things done. Knowing that I have a lot of things to get done in a day, at no specific times, with all factors outwith my control, really makes me anxious. Give me a time and a place, and I am happy. When things are fluid I struggle. So much so that the evening and night before a day like that is ruined. I constantly think about how to get it all done the next day. I go to bed thinking about it, wake up several times in the night and this is the first thing on my mind each time when I wake up.

Warning signals

This does worry me as I used to always take work home with me, and never switch off. I think that is one of the problems with working as a police officer, that you never really switch off. You also have such a great responsibility; if you mess up then people could die. It is harsh but it is the truth. But people sometimes die despite you doing the best job possible. This is hard to deal with. It would have been great if the management had recognised this and offered support but that is an area where the police fall down: they are busy looking after the public but do not really look after their colleagues.
It is also a reminder that sometimes you do need to speak up, and ask for help. Tell people that you are not coping well. I find that management will just plod along, thinking everything is good as they have not had anyone say anything different. They rarely use their own initiative and actually ask.
I wish I had spoken up, that I had spoken to my colleagues and manager about this. It felt like it was all part of my duties, which is really ridiculous as I am only human.

Different line of work

What I do now is so different, but to a lot of people it is the end of the world if I can’t fix it for them. I put myself under a lot of pressure to get things done, efficiently and to a high standard. Going back to this week, in the end it all sorted itself out as I got help that day for one difficult job, and this was due to his van having broken down. Had it not then I would not have had any help. So life moves in mysterious ways.

The relief!

When it all just sorted itself out I was so happy. I felt my shoulders relax and thought to myself: why on earth are you worrying so much! Easier said than done. But try. Try not to worry so much. Nothing good will come of it.

I hope you all have a good week, and take care of you and your loved ones.

-Rosita

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